Thursday, 30 December 2010

White Man's Fear of the Dark

Black magic

Had a bizarre conversation with a White landlord Michael today. He claimed that I had set the spin speed for the washing machine in the house to too high a setting when the machine itself did this - dependent on the fabric setting selected by the user. When I pointed out and demonstrated that this was how the machine automatically worked and that I had never set the spin speed, he claimed that in the past three weeks the machine had changed the way it works. And that the implication of this is that it now worked in accordance with the operating instructions when it did not for years before. Somehow, the machine has reprogrammed itself (by, he claims, water getting onto the ROM chip inside [which would have, in fact, disabled it]) and yet he is not willing to call out a service engineer to repair this (imaginary) fault.

a little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Michael desperately hoped that I would believe his delusions of grandeur (based on his shyness) and that I had not read the Instruction Booklet. Suggesting setting the device at 700rpm contradicts his claim that the greater the revs the greater the wear and tear: This is not the minimum setting of 500rpm that such an approach would indicate as the most sensible future setting.

Jawohl, mein fuehrer

Like all guilt-ridden liberals, Michael wants to issue a fuehrer befehl while trying to still allow some choice from the person whose obedience he claims he has a right to expect. He wants a totalitarian regime that licensees will willingly accept in order to conceal its totalitarian nature. White Conservatives are wolves; White Liberals are wolves in sheep's clothing.

lack of affection

Michael backed down and finally admitted that the real issue was avoiding replacing the washing machine and thus not having to raise the rent. He is trying to blame me for any rent rise in order to run away from his ethical and political responsibilities and to turn everyone against me as the household scapegoat. It is not my behavior that is causing any problem but his lies and cowardly approach to household issues - like a girl who focuses on trivia to conceal the real issue of a lack of affection and attention. This is consistent with his past claims about me (but not about anyone else, whom he vigorously defends) that I left the gas on, dishes in the sink, the bathroom window open at night and the oven on. Despite the fact that I am abstemious and fastidious, he never claims this about the White licensees. It is impossible for social snobs steeped in Whiteness to accept the equality of those who are not snobs. He simply wants to raise the rent and use a Black man as a scapegoat. He would also like to evict me without appearing to be a White supremacist because he finds arguing with me difficult since he is both unable to win arguments and to understand the point of argument, as such.


With his washing machine, Michael is effectively claiming I am using Black Magic to alter its operation to the way it should work - in accordance with the Instruction Booklet - from the way it formerly worked. He tries to do this by claiming water has somehow got into the machine and altered the software program etched onto the ROM chip housed inside the dedicated microprocessor. This should cause it to work wrongly or totally disable the device rather than make it work correctly. despite not following his own logic and insisting the machine is used at its slowest spin speed (500rpm), he implies there is an optimal setting (700rpm) while denying the analogy I made with a car's optimal speed (50mph). His claim that the issues are fundamentally different is contradicted by his unwillingness to specify the lowest setting. His problem is that he wants others to agree with him, no matter how idiotic he is, because he does not wish to be seen as a dictator - and yet his need to be agreed with is quintessentially dictatorial. He vainly tries to go against his tyrannical upbringing but ends up in the place his parents intended - fear of others conflicting with need of others.

personal is political

The paranoia of Whites is such that their fear of their betters makes them claim the Personal is Political and that Politics is a substitute for Metaphysics. Michael implies I use the washing machine too often and thus am wearing out the bearings. This reminds one of Charles Boyer's treatment of Ingrid Bergman in that Gaslight.

children of the damned

Whites are like children in never being able to admit their true feelings by dancing around them until you force them to admit their ulterior motives by objectively demonstrating that they are talking rubbish. They need control because they fear anything that is not like them. They were raised this way and refuse to change because remaining the same provides them with the advantages of being automatic members of the in-crowd - without effort - while playing down the inevitable guilt, shame and misery this produces. After all, to change would then mean growing up and having to learn to stand on their own two feet rather than attempt to stand on others.

underlying issues

Michael has no reported difficulty in using the washing machine its new configuration (and never will, of course). I need to research whether spin speed is an issue of spin length, print a full copy of the Instruction Booklet and research the way of using washers that makes them last longest. Real Issues: My superior intellect, his passive-aggressive shyness, my refusal to valorize his insecurities, his paranoia concerning people who do not look, think, act nor speak like him.

projection & displacement

Michael also tries to claim that I am irritated by others leaving their washing in the machine, yet offers no objective evidence of this - and he is not telepathic. He also implies that I leave my washing in the machine for more than 24 hours when this is something he has never seen me do. As usual, Whites do not argue from facts but from bigotry: One is never innocent until one proves oneself so, one is guilty and has to prove one's innocence. Such people will always believe one guilty and proving a negative is impossible, so trying to do so is a deliberately foisted waste of time that no rational person would ever engage in. He even claims that people should live their lives around the washer by staying at home when using it, despite the fact that it is an automatic device and does not, therefore, need to be manually attended to after initiation. Yet, this contradicts his claim that he has no time to clean (nor time to wait for a mail delivery) when he requires that we stay home to ensure that the washer is emptied when finished. Only a lazy person suggests such nonsense. he really wants to start using the machine as a manual cleaner in order to make it last longer because he cannot afford a new one - backed-up by the threat of a rent increase otherwise. Is anyone who claims to be middle-class really that poor - or is it that he is not middle-class enough? And does he really not understand that this proves the relationship is financial and political, not personal?

shared hate v shared love

Strange that it should take Michael nine months to tell me all this about the washer given my twice-weekly use of this device. but this has something to do with the admitted fact that he is silly enough to avoid reading user guides for items he buys and he assumes everyone else is just as lazy. He actually thinks I am a Nigger fresh off the banana boat from bongo-bongo land while imagining that deep down I am the same as him. No wonder his marriage failed. He has no objective means of identifying others and so relies on trying to force them into the pre-existing social categories in his head that his parents forced him to believe in. A pity for him that he cannot grow up and take responsibility for his mental content so that he could have fulfilling relationships with real individuals rather than imagined stereotypes.

Copyright © 2010 Frank TALKER. Permission granted to reproduce and distribute it in any format; provided that mention of the author’s Weblog ( is included: E-mail notification requested. All other rights reserved. Frank TALKER is also the author of Sweaty Socks: A Treatise on the Inevitability of Toe Jam in Hot Weather (East Cheam Press: Groper Books, 1997) and is University of Bullshit Professor Emeritus of Madeupology.

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